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Sunday, 4 March 2012

Athens/3: Which future for Pears?

Yes, which future for Pears? I mean, how will we preserve this huge cultural heritage of ancient (and yet modern too) times? 
My humble proposal is to build on a completely new religious cult placing Pears in the middle of it, just like tomatoes: they (the Pears, not the tomatoes) will be worshipped on a strictly scheduled hourly and daily basis (over which an international authority, along the lines of the European Commission monitoring on the Greek austerity plan, will keep both its eyes, staring) and will appear crucified (always the Pears) in the majestic temples which will be raised all over the world and called Pears' Houses by the multitudes of adepts. 
Pears will be the unifying language and the unifying force in physics: neutrinos and Higgs bosons will exchange Pearinos (either integer or half-integer spin, of course), but no electrons nor photons any longer. Also, an end will be put to the long diatribe between mathematicians and engineers regarding the imaginary unit: each harmonic will be written down as the Napier's constant (also called Euler's number by other authors) to the power of the angular frequency times a Pear.
Dogs and cats will not be enemies anymore because a jungle of umbilical cords made of Pears will be joining them together - like jailbirds to their balls and chains - even sorrounding them like a benign aura of love.
South and North Koreans will fall in love with each other regardless of their age or gender or musical taste (as it already happens, actually, but then chocolate covered Pears will be exchanged on Feb. 14 as gifts).
In the porn movie industry a blossom of Pears will be cherished up as deranging vectors of external excitations to the physiological lieutenents of that base of pleasure called amigdala.
In the parlamentarian seats of our democracies of tomorrow will be operating efficient Pears that will be able to reduce their compensations by 3% during the future economic crisis eras, differently from what happens today.
Geometricians will publish plenty of string theory related articles in renowned reviews to discover the secret of the perfect shape of the Pear, shape which will replace, in importance, the Calabi-Yau manifolds of the old days. As technological cascade of these studies, when expeditions will be sent to the outer faraway planets of our Galaxy, the space shattles will resemble this shape, not only to improve their aerodynamic performances, but also, replacing the Vitruvian Man of Leonardo da Vinci, to be able to immediately, visually convey a speaking symbol of the technology of our society, in case of a contact with extraterrestrial intelligent life.
A jar of Pear marmelade, as part of the breakfast of our children, will be their Bible because we will have solved the Navier-Stokes equations and therefore they will be able to get the Message out of that shapeless piece of matter a jar contained Pear marmelade mass will look like, of course even without the help of a pocket calculator, the solution being analytical and not numerical.
Finally, I would like to take leave from you warning you against a danger pending on our golden age to come: Pears being a matter that eventually gets naturally spoiled, even if properly kept, the Alliance of Rogue States will try to replace it with a plastic simulacrum in order to get its power, trying to let it look necessary in order to persuade you. I admonish you, then, not to let them steal from you, never, not even to get close to, the Pear that is in you.


  1. If I stand more for mangos, will I be a social outcast of the pear-society? will they lock me in some pear-shaped prison and feed me pears for the rest of my life?